Malcolm thought it would be a good idea to show everyone his Mick Jagger impression. It was important that everyone be able to see his strut and the cock of his hips so climbing up on the nearest table was the obvious solution.
Malcolm had been drinking for the majority of his waking hours. Jim Beam chased by Miller High Life, or maybe it was High Life chased by Beam, really it it didn’t matter in the end. What mattered was how sturdy the table was when he dizzily climbed up,which wasn’t sturdy at all. What mattered was how much weight it could hold, which was not what his squat girth had to offer.